Mikey, the Mystic Master
by Stormy1x2
Summary: After the Mystics tricked Bishop into destroying the amulet that gave Karai control over them, the Mystics choose a new Master. Fear for the world.
1. In Which Mikey Becomes A Master

**Title:** Mikey, the Mystic Master

**Author:** Stormy1x2

**Warnings**: Humor, AU from S4's "Good Genes, part 2", Elemental Mystic OC'ness.

**Word Count:** 2252

**Notes: **Written purely for fun. Don't attempt to take it seriously – your brain may break. Done for LJ's fanfic100 community, prompt **#52:** _Fire._

**Summary:** After the Mystics tricked Bishop into destroying the amulet that gave Karai control over them, the Mystics choose a new Master.

* * *

**Mikey, the Mystic Master**

* * *

Leo knew they were in for a long day when the Shredder's four Elemental Mystics appeared in the middle of their kitchen that morning, hovering over the Chocolate Wheaties.

His brothers, naturally, responded in true ninja fashion – Raph choked on his toast and turned the same shade of blue as Leo's bandanna, Donatello dropped the transistor radio he was attempting to fix, scattering the pieces all over the living room, never to be seen again, and Mikey screamed like a little girl, diving for cover under the kitchen table. As for himself, Leonardo reached for swords that were unfortunately still in the dojo, and had to scrabble for anything that could be used as a weapon. He wound up brandishing a pair of butter knives at the Mystics and cursed them silently for their early appearance.

Leonardo was _not_ a morning person.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, scowling as threateningly as he could with blunt kitchen utensils in his grasp. "What do you want?"

"We have come to serve our Master," one of the Mystics replied calmly. It was the metal one, the apparent leader of the quintet. "We are free from Karai's control, and have chosen our new Master."

"Me?" Leonardo fairly squeaked.

The Metal Elemental frowned. "Not you," he said peevishly. "The one they call, Michaelangelo."

Leo's eyes widened. "_Mikey_?"

"I _knew_ it," came a choking gasp from Raphael, who had managed to dislodge the toast in his throat with Donatello's Heimlich help. "It's all Mikey's fault."

* * *

Obviously there needed to be some sort of explanation, and the turtles herded their 'guests' into the living room, weapons at the ready (once Leo had discretely made a run for the dojo to retrieve his swords and discard of the butter knives). The Mystics seemed amused at their attempts to appear threatening.

"What do you mean, Michaelangelo is your leader?" Leonardo asked.

"A better question would be why the heck did you choose _him_?" Raphael snorted.

"Where's the cat?" one of the Mystics asked eagerly, looking around the lair. His request seemed to throw everyone off guard.

"Cat?" Leonardo blinked at the non-sequitur.

Mikey scowled. "Are they talking about Klunk? Why are you talking about Klunk?" Mikey snapped off a few impressive rounds with his nunchakus before tucking them under his arms in a ready position. "I won't let you hurt my – _KLUNK_?!"

As Mikey was making his brave statement, the cat in question appeared in the lair, padding calmly over to the Elemental that looked like it was made of wood. The Elemental made a sound that Leo was astonished to realize was pure glee, and swooped down on the animal, scooping it up carefully and cuddling it close. In return, Klunk was purring so loudly it sounded like a lawn mower going off in the lair.

Leo watched the Metal Elemental heave his shoulders and sigh loudly. "Earth..."

"Sorry!" The Elemental – Earth – said contritely, and reluctantly set the animal down. Klunk pushed against the Elemental's legs – the bits he could reach as they were still floating – and continued to purr with contentment.

Leo raised his eyes back to meet the Metal Elemental as if to say, 'well?'

Metal shrugged. "Earth likes animals," he said resignedly.

"Okay then." Leonardo seriously felt this day could not get any weirder. "Would you mind answering the question?"

"We have chosen Michaelangelo to be our new master," Air said calmly. He was swaying back and forth in a breeze only he could apparently feel. "I really do not understand what is so difficult to comprehend about that statement."

"Why?" Raph repeated, with an edge in his voice that was one part anger, and one part hysteria.

"We had to have _someone,_" the Fire Elemental spoke up. He was juggling small fireballs in his hand. "He was the one we agreed on."

"You said you broke free from Karai's control," Donatello said suddenly. "How did you do that?"

"That amulet you stole from Karai and surrendered to Agent Bishop was the only thing that could control us," Metal explained. "We appeared before Bishop in his mind and made him think we were an alien entity patching into one of his secure frequencies. We were the ones who told him to retrieve the amulet, and he sent you four to do it. Once it was in his hands, we told his underling, the one you know as Baxter Stockman, to set their lasers for a frequency that would shatter it. Once it was destroyed, the power to control us through it was gone forever."

"So absolute control over you and your powers no longer exists for anyone," Donatello murmured. His eyes were shining. "Fascinating."

"Indeed. And now we serve you." As one, the five Mystics turned and bowed to Michaelangelo. "Master."

Mikey squeaked and backed away, hands up. "Wait a minute, I didn't ask to be anyone's Master!"

"We chose you," Air said in that same, calm, matter-of-fact tone.

"Deal with it," Fire advised in a _sotto_ voice, patting the ninja on the shoulder.

"But the amulet's broken," Mikey objected weakly. "Doesn't that mean you guys are free to wreak havoc and destruction and infinite amounts of chaos?"

The Mystics looked at each other, and then shrugged as one. Metal stepped forward, his arms folded and his helmet tilted to the side as though he were considering Mikey's question with care. "Well, see, we were originally created to _serve_," he said, stressing the word. "The amulet was a way of keeping us under control of whomsoever held it. With the destruction of the amulet, we are free to choose whom we wish to serve."

"And we choose the kitty—I mean, you!" Earth chirped, petting the happily purring Klunk.

The turtles exchanged confused looks. Leonardo cleared his throat. "Why Mikey? I would have thought you would prefer to serve your original Master's descendants. Why choose the enemy of your Master?"

"Karai's an idiot," scoffed Fire, snorting flames through his nose to show his disdain.

"Even if she does look delicious in the shower," drooled Water suddenly. Everyone looked at him warily. Air smacked him in the head, making Mikey wince in sympathy, and Raph grin reluctantly in recognition. Leonardo just looked ill at the comment, while Donnie continued to look fascinated.

"Well, we had planned to resurrect our Master to serve him once again," Metal admitted, going back to Leo's original question. "But then Master Michaelangelo touched the amulet and we Saw him."

"Saw?" Donnie blinked.

"We do not always See people who touch the amulet," said Metal. "Only those with highly developed chi – or those with the potential for such powers – can trigger the Sight in us. We saw Michaelangelo's potential--"

"--and he has a cat!" Earth put in, excitedly. Air zipped over and smacked him too. "Ow!"

"--and frankly, we're tired of being ordered to kill, maim and destroy," Metal finished. "It gets very tiring after centuries of pillaging."

"We wanted something new," Fire said, slinging an arm around Mikey's shoulders. "I was all for you being our Master, you know – I saw in your memories that explosions tend to happen a lot around you four. I want in!"

"So you guys essentially adopted Mikey as your Master because you liked what you saw in him?" Donnie's fingers were twitching, like he wanted badly to be making notes. "Metal's tired of war-mongering, Fire hates Karai and loves Mikey's destructive nature--"

"Hey!" Mikey objected.

"--and Earth seems to have a crush on Mikey's cat," Donnie finished. He pointed at Water and Air. "What do you get out of this?"

The Elementals exchanged a look, and then held up their hands in resignation. "Our very nature makes us go with the flow," Water said, moving his arms and legs like a hula dancer to simulate water. Or something. After a minute of staring, his movements were starting to look vaguely suggestive. All four turtles averted their eyes.

Air shrugged and smacked Water again before answering. "In my case, it's on the breeze." He pointed at his Elemental brothers. "If they want Mikey as Master, who am I to argue? It's too much trouble. And at least this one won't be constantly whining at us to find people with our psychic powers. Nag, nag, nag, that's all Karai ever did." He shook his head. "So troublesome."

"And those visions," added Fire. "All that death, doom and misery, and not _once_ did she let me burn a single city to ashes. Talk about being a wet blanket."

"I object to that statement," Water protested mildly.

"So anyway, we have Chosen. You cannot refuse," Metal said calmly. "Once we have made a Choice, we are bound to our Master for the duration of his life."

"'Till death do us part," Water said, winking suggestively. Raph took a step further away from the Water Elemental.

Mikey looked dangerously close to fainting. Leonardo directed Donatello to get out the smelling salts, just in case.

* * *

Having come to the conclusion that there was no way, at least at that point in time, to make the Mystics go away, the next obstacle to overcome was in the form of the other Master of the house. Splinter was less than impressed with the events of the morning.

"No."

"It's not like we have a choice here, really," Donatello said worriedly. "We can't make them go away. They're bonded to Mikey."

"No."

"Master Splinter, they have promised not to harm him, or us. Or anyone, really," Leonardo said, pleading with his sensei.

"No."

"Master Splinter, I don't get it." Raphael's brow was furrowed, like he was trying to figure out a secret no one wanted to share. "I thought you'd be happy to know Shredder's most powerful warriors switched their allegiance to us."

Splinter stared at him gravely. "That is an incorrect statement, my son."

Leonardo blinked. He was doing that a lot, lately, it seemed. "Sensei?"

Splinter clarified. "The Shredder's most powerful warriors have allied themselves to _Michaelangelo_."

Leonardo didn't understand. Then he thought about it carefully. His eyes suddenly widened, and he debated the pros and cons about giving in and having a shock-induced heart attack. "_No_."

"I don't get it." Raph threw up his hands in disgust. "What the heck are they so worried about?"

Leo grabbed Raph's bandanna tails and yanked _hard_. "Think about it Raph," Leonardo hissed. "Mikey now has the powers of Shredder's Mystics at his command!"

Raphael's face was blank as he digested Leonardo's words. Then he nodded once, calm and collected. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

Mikey was standing there, still shell-shocked. His eyes were wide and unseeing, and Donatello moved next to him. Leo came to his other side. "Mikey?" Leo asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Do you understand what's going on?" Donatello added worriedly.

Mikey blinked, and then slowly, a large, tooth-filled grin begin to take over his face. "Yes. Yes, I do." An unholy light shone in his dancing, blue eyes. "I have _minions_."

Three turtles stared at their sibling in mortal terror. Mikey cackled maniacally.

* * *

It had taken a while to calm Mikey down, and get Raph's trembling form pried down from the ceiling. Klunk had disappeared during his owner's mini-spazz-out, much to the Earth Elemental's acute disappointment.

"Are you sure there is no way to convince you of the utter HORRIFFICNESS of your decision?" Donatello asked despairingly. Mikey was still giggling in shock, unable to contribute to the discussion at the moment.

Leonardo kept patting his shell. "Calm down, Mikey," he said patiently. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Good boy."

"We are bound," Metal said imposingly. "The Bond cannot be broken except by death." The Mystics all glared at the turtles, impressive, despite their stature (or lack thereof), and intimidating. For a whole thirty seconds, anyway.

"Kitty!" shrieked Earth happily, as Klunk returned, abandoning his post as Top Right Corner Scowler to play with the kitten again.

The turtles looked from the Earth Mystic, to Metal, to Earth again, and finally back to Metal. Mikey broke free of his hysteria-induced paralysis, and jerked his thumb at the giggling Earth Mystic. "You wanna explain that?"

Metal sighed, bringing a clawed hand up to rub the side of his helmet. "Being an Earth Elemental, he feels a natural kinship with the creatures of the land." He shrugged. "We've learned to just deal with it."

"Oh, _please_," Earth snorted, turning from Klunk to point accusingly at the Water Mystic. "Like you haven't caught HIM cavorting with the Sea Leviathans before. That's worse than anything I've ever done."

All eyes turned to Water, who backed up, wide-eyed, hands held out in front of him. "What?"

"_Cavorting_ with sea creatures?" Mikey frowned. "As your Master, should I be worried about this? Do you need therapy?"

Raphael shuddered at the words, 'As your Master'. "Donnie, you got those salts handy?"

"Right here."

"Don't listen to him, Master," Water said soothingly, swirling around Michaelangelo. "You all seem focused on doing the honorable thing, and I promise, everything that happened was consensual."

Donnie hit the ground with a thud. Mikey stared accusingly at his new minion. "We're gonna have to have a talk, young man," he declared.

Raph shuddered again. Splinter was repeating, "No," over and over again in a quiet but desperate tone of voice. Leonardo looked at his cowed siblings, his seemingly broken Master, and finally, at his youngest sibling lecturing an Elemental Mystic about the wrongness of bestiality.

He was beginning to regret not letting Karai destroy him like she had vowed.

* * *

**End part 1**

**Notes**: I...apologize? :D Both for this chapter and the one to follow. Next up: fun with illusions, perverted Water elementals, and learning to care for your Metal Mystic (note: rust is BAD).


	2. In Which Raph Hates Illusions

**Title: **Mikey, the Mystic Master, 2

**Author**: Stormy1x2

**Word Count:** 1646

**Warnings:** Crack, humor, blatant abuse of the Mystics character.

**Summary:** In which illusions are used, and Mystics abused. And because I wanted to join in the fun, Human!turtles. Well, err—sort of. :D

* * *

**Mikey, the Mystic Master Chapter 2**

* * *

Time flows ever onward, and soon, the inevitable comes to us all.

"I'm hungry," Mikey announced. "This whole 'Mystic Master' gig has me so charged I could eat a whole elephant."

"Are elephants your usual choice of cuisine?" Air asked curiously.

Earth looked horrified at the thought, cuddling Klunk tightly as he watched with wide eyes.

Mikey blinked. "What? No!"

"Master has a habit of saying things he does not really mean," Metal concluded. "This is most distressing. Lies are not for the honorable ninja."

"First off, you are SO not the ones to be commenting about my honor," Mikey told the hovering Mystics. "Attacking us behind our backs—err, minds? Not honorable. At _all_."

"And Mikey's not lying, just prone to exaggeration," added Donatello. "He means he's really hungry."

"I, for one, could go for a little deep dish action," Raph agreed. "I'll go with ya, Mikey. Grab the disguises?"

"Sure thing."

The Mystics merely watched from a distance as layers upon layers were put on. Pants, sweaters and bulky overcoats to disguise the shape of their shells, gloves to hide their three-fingered hands, scarves, hats and sunglasses to cover the green tint of their skin.

Fire tilted his helmet. "And you consider this to be the art of concealment?" he scoffed. "You look like hunchbacked trolls."

"No, we consider this to be a disguise, so we don't get caught by curious scientists and hauled away to labs for dissection," Raph shot back. "You got a better idea?"

"Naturally," Air said scornfully, it's nose – or rather, the front of its face – up in the...well, _air_.

"You are aware of course, that we can conceal your appearance with our powers of illusion?" Metal sniffed and folded his arms. "Master merely has to think of the appropriate illusion and we can easily create it for him. How cruel of our Master to dismiss our talents so easily."

"But I didn't!" Mikey protested. "I didn't know you could use those illusion-thingies for disguises."

The Elementals ignored his protests and waved their arms. Their baggy clothes fell away – Water was snickering and muttering something about 'Clothes Removal No Jutsu but no one really wanted to ask – and a rain of light fell over them. As it passed, it left behind an image taken, as they said, from a mental projection of Mikey's of how he felt they would look as a human.

Leo and Donnie examined each other's form critically. "Not bad," Leo said, taking in Donnie's light brown shaggy hair and brown eyes. He was clad in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Same to you," Donnie commented. Leo had distinctly Asian features, feathery black hair that shone blue under the light, and vivid blue eyes. "Nice, Mikey."

Mikey was long, blond hair and looked distinctly like a California surfer boy with his new dark tan and green eyes. "I'm hot, admit it." He stroked his hands down the tight green shirt that showed off his new, lean form.

"Ah-hem" came a familiar, growling voice. The three turtles turned to take in Raph's form.

A rather large and robust Viking woman scowled back at them. Her massively muscled arms were folded underneath her ample bosom that was heroically being held back by straining metal breast plates. A gray, pointed helmet with two small, white horns perched on top of a mane of thick golden hair, twisted into two braids at the side. Clad in a simple, white tunic, her angrily tapping toes encased in metal-plated high-heeled sandals, she looked about two seconds away from either exploding at Mikey – or exploding out of her dress.

Leo clapped a hand over his mouth, instantly trying to control the hysterical giggling he could feel welling up inside him. Donnie and Mikey had no such restraint however, and rolled on the ground, howling with laughter.

"_GRAAAAA_!!" Raphael lunged at his younger sibling who barely escaped his grasp, rolling to hide behind the Elemental Mystics. Raph approached them, ham-like fists – with nails delicately painted a pale pink - clenched and trembling under the strain of holding himself back. "Change. This. NOW."

"But that was the form we saw in Master's head," Earth said with a shrug.

Water was panting, disappearing and reappearing at Raph's side, tugging at his/her breast plates. "Master has excellent taste!" he exclaimed happily, not even caring when Raphael backhanded him into the wall.

"_MICHAELANGELO_." Raph's voice was like a foretold portent of doom.

Leo leaned behind the Metal Mystic. "I'd change that pretty quick if I were you," he whispered. "A joke's a joke, but the longer this plays out, the longer you're going to have to avoid Raph's revenge, and he knows where you sleep."

Mikey gulped and nodded. "Guys, change it please!"

Another shower of light, and the Viking woman disappeared, replaced with a tall, lean dark-haired youth wearing black torn jeans, leather biker gloves, combat boots, and a red t-shirt. Raphael looked himself over carefully, and then nodded once, his expression still angry, but calming down. "Better."

"You're welcome," Mikey squeaked, but didn't come out from behind the Mystics.

"This illusion is amazing," Donnie said, studying his 'hand' intently. "I can feel the extra fingers."

"Our illusions are part visual and part mental," Metal explained with the patient air of someone used to dealing with very small children all of the time. "You will both look and feel real to anyone who encounters you, as the mental projection extends outward from the visual."

"You get that?" Raph muttered as an aside to Donatello.

"Yup."

"Oh, good."

The trip to the surface was relatively quick and painless. The Mystics thankfully, did not insist on accompanying their Master to the surface.

"We are accustomed to staying behind," Air said, floating on his back. An image of clouds was projected over his head.

"We are able to keep ourselves entertained," Fire agreed, juggling some more fireballs.

"No burning things," Mikey said quickly. In the short time that the Mystics had been there, it had already been discovered that the Fire Element was quite the pyromaniac, and had a habit of setting small fires to 'play with'. "Be good, and I'll show you the trash pile outside the lair that you can burn to your heart's content."

Fire pouted, but nodded. "Deal."

The four headed out, Mikey careful to place himself furthest away from Raph, on Leo's other side. Raph didn't seem to care – no doubt he knew the best way to serve out revenge was to bide one's time. Though the Mystics would never allow true harm to befall their Master, they could approve of the sentiment.

* * *

It wasn't until after dinner that Mikey began to learn the downside of having Mystics as Minions. Hard as it was to believe, they were even more anal than Leonardo about certain things.

Mikey faced off against Metal in the middle of the lair. The rest of the Mystics sat on the sidelines with his brothers. Raph had a bowl of popcorn on his lap, and a wicked-edged smirk on his face as he watched the showdown.

"I do not need a lesson in weapons maintenance," Mikey hissed. "I am perfectly capable of caring for my babies by myself."

Metal glared at him, and with astonishing, Mystical speed, he snatched one of Mikey's nunchakus away, holding it up for inspection. "I can see rust beginning to form on two of the links," he informed his Master haughtily. "And if you were so conscientious about your... _babies_, then there would not be--" he leaned in and sniffed. "--_pizza sauce_ coating the link attached to the handle. This is _unacceptable_." Metal straightened and reached out, grabbing hold of Mikey's bandanna tails. Turning in midair, he marched off – well, okay, _floated _off – in the direction of the dojo, dragging his unwilling victim behind him. "Come Master, and I shall teach you of the ways of Rust-Away – the best thing about living in this century, if I do say so myself."

Mikey threw a desperate look in his brother's direction. "Guys! Help!"

Raph waved happily. "Bye-bye, Mikey!"

Splinter had a considering look on his face. "Perhaps these Mystics will prove to be a good thing after all."

Fire suddenly popped up between the two of them. "You didn't really like that rug in the sitting area, did you?"

Donatello saw the smoke and ran for the fire extinguisher. Leonardo went to the bathroom to hunt down the extra-strength Excedrin. Raph held back Master Splinter who tried to brain the Elemental with his walking stick.

"That is an Oriental rug from Japan, given to me by my son!" Splinter snarled.

"Well, it still is," said Fire placatingly. "It's just got some new patterns in the one corner. Made of soot and scorch marks. Nothing to worry about."

"Come on, Master, we'll clean it up and take it to the antiques repair guy April uses," Raph said soothingly. He was not used to being the restrainer in these cases. "Drink some tea or something. And _you_!" He glared at the Elemental. "Mikey told you to stop burning stuff!"

"I'm bored," Fire said simply, and vanished.

From overhead, Air was still floating on his back, waving his hands at the clouds to make them form different shapes. "Do you want me to hurt him?" he called down, conversationally.

Raph considered that for all of two seconds. "Yes."

Air disappeared as well. A few seconds later, an explosion sounded from the dojo. Raph, Don, Leo and Splinter all raced for the dojo, converging on the door en mass. Mikey and Metal were staring at the heap of Mystics in the middle of the dojo floor. Water was hissing, steam rising from its evaporating form, and Fire looked miserably waterlogged. Air hovered over them, looking down with a smirk.

Raph cleared his throat. "Why'd you get Water too?" he asked curiously.

Air shot him an unconcerned look. "Why not?"

* * *

**End chapter 2.**

:D This has to be the most fun I've had writing in_ years_. I'm glad people are enjoying it as much as I am. Next up – how to introduce your new Mystic Minions to your closest friends.


	3. In Which Social Etiquette is Discussed

**Title:** Mikey, the Mystic Master, 3

**Author:** Stormy1x2

**Word Count: **1685

**Summary**: The Mystics get a lesson in proper conduct.

* * *

**Mikey, the Mystic Master, Chapter 3**

* * *

The days had gone by as normal – well, relatively normal – and the Mystics seemed to be settling into their new domain easily. However, it was on a bright and sunny morning – not that anyone could tell in a home with no windows – that Mikey decided the Mystics needed to be educated somewhat on ways to conduct themselves in the presence of others.

Mikey dragged Donatello's portable chalkboard into the middle of the lair and sketched out a few diagrams and notes in white chalk. Then he grabbed the pointer, thwacked Water soundly on the head, removed Klunk from Earth's vicinity to ensure his complete attention, and stood before them.

"Yes, Master?" The Elements asked as one.

"It's been pointed out to me that you guys need some serious social training," Mikey told them. "Consider this your first of many lessons. The first lesson deals with making a good first impression. Water?" He glared at the Mystic. "_You_ will pay close attention to this. You are very close to being the first mystical element entity in New York to be issued with a restraining order."

"I'm being framed," Water protested. "I'm innocent."

Mikey raised an eye ridge. "Oh, really?" He pointed at the first picture on the board – a quick, thumbnail sketch of Casey and April. "Do you remember what happened last week?"

* * *

**On meeting Casey and April:**

"Yo guys. We had to come see this to believe it." Casey stepped out of the elevator, waving cautiously.

Across the room, Metal sniffed. "You accuse our Master of lying to you, human?"

"Hey Case! Yo April!" Mikey looked up from the couch where he was reading his comics. "Come on in! That's Metal, by the way."

"Yeah, I got that." Casey looked warily at the floating, meditating Mystic coated in silver armor.

April stepped out of the elevator, every bit as cautiously as Casey had been. "Hi guys."

"Wonderful! A mated pair!" Water stopped antagonizing Fire (the flame-filled Elemental was so easy to tease – just splash his fireballs into harmless puffs of smoke and he'd erupt like a miniature volcano) and flew over to the doorway, examining the pair with obvious interest. "I've not had much of a chance to interact with a real, mated pair of humans before. Our original Master had no time for what he called frivolous wastes of time, and the Shredder you knew of was an Utrom. Utroms reproduce asexually, you know. I have so many questions, particularly after viewing a program on the Master's television machine last night." The Elemental leaned forward eagerly. "The humans mated in a body of water called a 'swimming pool'. Is that really common?"

April and Casey had been frozen from the words, 'mated pair.' "Uh..."

"Despite my preference for it, water is unfortunately, not the best lubricant for organics participating in mating rituals," Water continued enthusiastically. He held his hands out, and a glowing ball appeared between them. "Allow me to provide you with a liquid of a suitable viscosity for you two."

April spun on her heel and headed back for the elevator. "Bye guys."

Casey backed away slowly from the cheerful Elemental. He tripped over one of Mikey's skateboards, flipped over and then chased after April. "Wait for me!"

Mikey watched as their two human friends bolted for the exit, before turning to the pouting Water Mystic with a raised eye ridge. "So... '_Socially Acceptable Ways to Treat Friends, 101_' is a major fail."

Raph held out a hand. "Wait a minute, Mikey, go easy on him. After all--" he winked. "--he just scared off Casey Jones, destroyer of TV sets, remember?"

Mikey looked at him thoughtfully, and then turned back to the Water Mystic. "Partial credit," he allowed.

* * *

"I remember getting partial credit," Water said triumphantly.

Mikey rolled his eyes. "You do realize that April is conspiring with Donatello, Fire and Air to find a way to evaporate you permanently?"

Water pouted. "Humans are far too uptight." He glared at his brothers. "You traitors."

"You deserve it," Air said coolly. "You do not conduct yourself as a true Mystic."

"And let's not forget when you met Angel a couple of days ago," Mikey continued.

* * *

**On meeting Angel:**

"So, these guys work for Mikey?" Angel examined the strange, squat little creatures floating in the air. "Like you weren't weird enough before."

"Can I burn her, Master?" Fire asked brightly.

"I told you, no burning the humans!"

"See Master, this is why you should go to Japan." The Water Mystic swirled around Angel in disgust, tweaking at her baggy jeans and poking her raggedy sweatshirt with his spindly fingers. "The land of shortened yukata's and delightfully revealing school uniforms. Young females of America do not know anything about proper attire. This one looks more masculine than feminine. Are you certain it's female?"

Angel shrieked in outrage as the Mystic zipped to the front of her, and stared intently at her chest, his eyes about an inch away from her sweater. "Get away from me, you creep!" She swung her fist but only succeeded in splashing herself as the Water Elemental turned its form into its namesake.

"See?" Water threw up his arms in defeat. "The material is too thick for water to form the fabric into even the most basic of outlines."

"That's it, I'm out. Bye guys. I'll be back when Mikey learns to keep his 'pet' under control." Angel stalked out of the lair, grumbling about perverted ninjas.

Water looked at his mortified Master. "What?"

* * *

"At least I didn't threaten to burn her alive."

"Hey, at least I asked permission beforehand. You splashed her of your own volition."

"I can't believe it's _me_ saying this, but can we get a little focus here?" Mikey snapped. "Let's continue with the whole 'bait the crocodile' stunt Air pulled yesterday!"

* * *

**On meeting Leatherhead:**

"Goodness, and I thought Water was unattractive," Air commented. "And with that large and bumbling physique, you are certainly not a ninja. How sad that such a magnificent brain came to be housed in such a primitive form. My sincerest condolences to your creator – obviously, this cannot be what he had expected when he designed you."

There was an immediate four turtle pile-up on the seething crocodile. "He doesn't mean it the way it sounds!" Mikey yelped, clinging to Leatherhead's right arm.

"Allow me to demonstrate the effectiveness of my 'primitive form' by reducing that barrel-shaped miscreant to a psychic paste!" Leatherhead snarled, trying to lunge past the barricade that was Leonardo and Donatello, clinging to his right and left legs, respectively.

"I most certainly did mean every word that I said," Air said, somewhat earnestly. "I would never lie to you, Master."

"Please try!" Mikey squeaked as Leatherhead shook his arm roughly, jolting him up and down. "This is worse than a roller coaster!"

"Mikey, get Air out of here!" Raph shouted from where he was perched on Leatherhead's back, arms wrapped around the thick neck. "We can't hold him back forever!"

"As though I would need protection from you against this Jurassic abomination."

Leatherhead roared and redoubled his efforts. Mikey let go and flipped over to the Air Elemental, grabbing him by one skinny arm and fleeing out of the lair.

"Come back here!" Leatherhead growled and gave chase, dislodging Leonardo and Donatello from his legs. The two collided on the ground, knocking them each silly. Leatherhead reached up, grabbed Raph by his bandanna tails and pulled him off, tossing him aside. He stampeded out the front door, tail lashing angrily. "I'm going to destroy you!"

"Eeep!" came Mikey's faint echoing cry.

* * *

"I said nothing that wasn't true," Air said defensively. "It's not my fault that _thing_ decided to take my words so personally."

"Of course he took it personally!" Mikey shouted. "You were insulting him to his face! And dude, you are SO one to talk about appearances when you look like a beer keg with a straw hat on!"

Air sniffed haughtily "I'll have you know, in the psychic dimension, I'm considered quite attractive."

"Not as good looking as me, though," Water put in, preening.

"I was voted 'Most Handsome' during the last Mystics convention," Metal said, folding his arms with a smirk.

"_Please_ – that convention was over a thousand years ago," Earth snapped. "And you've aged badly."

"You're one to talk," Metal retorted. "I've heard rumors that your plating is just to cover up the wood rot!"

"_Who said that_?" Earth shrieked. "At least I'm not in danger of _rusting_!" He lunged at his de facto leader and tried to gouge out the other Elemental's eyes with his clawed hands.

"You fight like an earth female!" Metal blocked the attack and tried to squash Earth's helmet down into his feet. "Act like the ninja Mystic you are supposed to be!"

"Both of you knock it off," Air commanded. "This is a most childish display of temp--"

A lamp shade hit him in the side of the head. Straightening up, Air looked at Fire who was looking far too innocent. "You will die now."

"Water fight!" Water conjured up a huge wave that filled the main room of the lair. Fire yowled as his flames went out, and Metal hissed like an alley cat as the water threatened to mar his metal coat. Air calmly floated out of the way. "Everybody skinny dip!"

Mikey thrust his head above the water, gasping for air. He was grateful to see Earth hovering out of harm's way, Klunk securely in hand. "WATER!"

"Yes, Master?"

"Make it go away!" Mikey's head went back underwater as the undertow took hold.

"Awwww..." Water whined and then shrugged. Clapping his hands, the water instantly vanished. Not a single spot or damp mark remained. "You never let me have any fun."

Leo, Donnie and Raph had been watching from the catwalks. They took in the damaged – though dry – furniture, the hissing, spitting thing that was the Fire elemental, and the chalkboard that had cracked in two during the flooding, with both halves burying Mikey underneath.

"See, this is why we can't have nice things," Leo said dryly.

Raph was too busy choking with laughter to respond.

* * *

**End chapter 3**

**Notes:**

Normally I'd space postings out a bit more, but I'm having lots of trouble with my computer, so I'm posting while it lets me.

Next time: we learn that Fire and kitchens don't mix.


	4. In Which Leo Calls a Family Meeting

**Title:** Mikey, the Mystic Master 4

**Author: **Stormy1x2

**Word Count:** 1880

**Notes**: Prompt 56: Breakfast

**Summary:** In Which Leo calls a Family Meeting and Raph Goes Nuts**. ** Fire's latest disturbing habits are discussed, and Mikey uses the Mystics to his advantage.

* * *

**Mikey, the Mystic Master, Chapter 4**

* * *

Soon after the Mystics arrived in the lair, and their particular quirks had been made known, Leonardo had known this day would come. He called a family meeting, and set up base at the breakfast table, sitting on the hard, wooden chair in the lotus position.

"Show-off, " Raph muttered as he entered the room. Snagging a chair for himself, he spun it around and plunked down into it, resting his folded arms along the back.

Donnie strode into the room, a paper in hand and a scowl on his face. He sat himself firmly – _or rather primly_, Raph thought with a smirk – on his chair. Obviously he had something on his mind.

Mikey was the last to enter, and he had a glum expression on his face. He was starting to learn it was not as fun as he'd thought it was going to be, having his own minions. For one thing, he kept getting blamed for everything they did.

Leonardo tapped his water glass with a spoon. "This meeting is called to order," he said. "I believe we all know why we're here?"

Donatello glowered. "Because I requested it. Fire is getting out of hand!'"

"Where'd you find him this time, Donnie?" Mikey asked warily.

"In the oven!" Donnie snapped, waving his list. " Sitting in front of a campfire he'd built on the coils, made of my note papers, sticks that were actually my practice bo's, and two of my anatomy textbooks!"

"How is this my fault?"

"Because he was roasting marshmallows!" Donnie glared at his sibling. "Apparently someone told him that that was what one did around a campfire!"

"I didn't tell him to do it in the oven!" Mikey protested.

"He's a fire elemental. Of course he'd build a fire in the one machine in the lair that creates that sort of temperature!" Donnie threw his paper on the table. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to clean the oven out and repair the coils? We're lucky he didn't short something out and start a fire! And why did he use_ my_ stuff to do it? _You're_ his Master!"

Mikey ducked down on his chair, nearly sliding under the table.

"Moving on," Leo said tiredly. "I found him poking forks into the toaster while it was turned on. He said he was conducting an experiment regarding lengths of time needed to cause any sort of combustion using various utensils. Apparently the next on his list was the extended lighter we use to start the barbecue."

"Oh my god." Donnie's eyes were huge. "We could have been killed. We live with a pyromaniac Mystic and we're going to die."

"Hey, I called dibs on the hysterics, pal," Mikey reminded him.

"Too bad, Mikey, 'cause Master Splinter already had 'em," Raphael growled. "Fire nearly gave him a heart attack when he went to use the microwave and found that poor excuse for a flamethrower 'going for a ride' on the rotating platter!"

Despite Donatello's despair, the analytical part of his mind kicked in automatically. "How'd he fit in there?"

"He shrunk himself," Raph told him sourly. "Something about reducing his mass and heck if I know, but he was standing in the middle of the plate with his arms in the air, shouting 'whee!'"

Mikey snickered, but wiped his face clear of any expression when Leo shot him a look. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"You're their Master, Mikey!" Raph snarled. "Act like it!"

"I told them to stop! It's not my fault they don't listen!"

"Mikey, you don't stop them so much as you join in on what they're doing," Leonardo said calmly. "They're used to being given firm and specific orders."

Mikey winced. "Well, see, I'm not really good at the whole 'giving orders' thing. That's more your gig than mine."

"Well, you're going to have to learn," Leo told him firmly.

A sudden explosion rocked the lair, and Earth shot into the kitchen like he'd been jet-propelled, singed on one side and still smoking. He crashed to a sudden stop head first into the cabinets under the sink. "Whoa!"

Leo sighed. "What happened now?"

"Fire found some sort of accelerant in the area you call the garage, and borrowed one of the flaming torches the 'wise' one uses," Earth said, somewhat woozily, before collapsing in a barrel-shaped heap.

Everyone living in the lair had been given a nickname. The 'wise one' was Donatello. The 'fiery' one was Raph. Leo tolerated the 'calm' one, but Splinter was campaigning for a name change after being stuck with 'old' one. The 'wise' one bolted upright out of his chair. "He has my welding torch?!"

"My bad!" came a shout from the living room.

Donatello snarled and raced out of the room to retrieve his property. Mikey followed to try and prevent possible bloodshed. Raph followed Mikey in order to not miss a single second of the action. Leonardo stared at the empty kitchen table and struck the table top with his spoon. "Meeting adjourned," he intoned.

* * *

The 'old' one (name change pending) had decided that a strategic bout of meditation would soothe the nerves of his science-loving son, and Leonardo joined in because he never could pass up a mediation session. Raphael disappeared to go hunting street thugs with Casey, which left Mikey alone with his Mystic minions.

"So Leo says I'm supposed to like, give you orders and stuff," Mikey said, scratching the back of his head.

"It is your right, Master," Metal said, nodding his head. "What would have us do?"

"Uhhh...Shell if I know." Mikey flopped to the ground, propping his chin up with one hand. "Got any ideas?"

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of _you _giving_ us_ orders?" Air asked snidely.

"Fine," Mikey said, glaring at him. "I order you to shut your pie hole."

Air subsided with a small smirk. Earth raised his hand. "Master, can I go now? I wish to consult with Klunk on the construction of his new cat tree."

"Consult with Klunk?" Mikey's eyes widened. "You can talk to my cat? And understand each other?"

"I am an Earth Elemental," Earth said waspishly. "Of course I can."

"What cat tree? And where are you putting it?"

Earth clapped his hands together. "The cat tree that Klunk informed me he would like. I can construct it anywhere, and move it should he desire a new location in the future, but I was going to just build it here in the living room." He tilted his helmet to the side. "Do you have a different suggestion, Master?"

Mikey grinned.

* * *

Raph came home, tired and sore from a night of fighting Purple Dragon remnants and random thugs belonging to local gangs. He was looking forward to at least eight hours of sleep, and woe be unto those who disturbed him before he was good and ready to get up. Striding to his room, he opened the door.

Vines, branches and leaves fairly exploded out of the door, blowing him back against the wall and pinning him in place. "What the shell?" Snarling, he broke free and whipped out his sai's, storming back to his door and forcing his way past the shrubbery trying to impede his path. His eyes widened behind his mask as he took in the strangely-shaped tree in the middle of his bedroom. Rough, almost fuzzy bark coated the surface, and small, leaf covered platforms branched out at various intervals. Tunnels and paths seemed to be carved into the wood, like small roads leading all over the tree-structure. His bed was trapped behind the trunk and filled with leaves. Dangling vines were everywhere.

Raph just stood there gaping. At his feet, Klunk sashayed past his legs, rubbing against them as he moved. The orange kitten darted inside his room, sauntered up one of the spiraling paths along the tree's trunk, and settled himself down on one of the leafy beds.

Raphael found his voice. "What the _shell_ is this?" he roared. He spun around and stormed back out of the room, slamming the door behind him, determined to get an answer. His brothers opened their bedroom doors, looking at him blearily.

Mikey nearly cracked his jaw with a huge yawn. "'S'up Raph? Have a nightmare?"

"_You_," Raph hissed. "Your little goons must be behind this. What did you do?"

"What are you talking about?" Mikey asked him, confused. "Did you get hit on the head or something tonight? The Mystics are in the dojo, like they always are."

"My _room_!" Raph snarled. "They freaking planted a _tree _in my_ room_!"

Donatello and Leonardo exchanged looks. Leo turned to Raph and raised his arms in a non-threatening manner. "Okay Raph, we'll come check it out."

Raph was beyond words again, and was reduced to growls as he led the way back to his room. He kicked the door in viciously and pointed his sai triumphantly--

--at the perfectly normal room before him. His jaw dropped.

"What tree, Raph?" Mikey asked, peering around the room. "Am I missing something, Donnie?"

"If you are, so am I," Donatello whispered.

Raph's speech was reduced again, this time into incoherent sputtering. Leo sighed and turned around, heading for the kitchen. "I'll go make some coffee. Maybe he and Casey had a few beers after patrol tonight."

Donatello pulled his snarling, near-feral brother out of the room. "Come on, Raph, Leo's gonna make some nice strong coffee to sober you up. Doesn't that sound good?" Over his shoulder, he casually told Mikey, "You can go back to bed if you want. We can handle him."

Mikey nodded, but waited until they were in the kitchen before detouring to the dojo. As one, the Mystics looked at him. "Master?"

"So Earth, where'd ya stash it?"

Earth smiled and waved his hand. Energy swirled around it, and formed a small window showing the empty tunnel leading off from the garage. It was too small to house any additional vehicles, and Donnie usually tossed leftover parts in there until he needed them. Earth had created a set of wooden shelves along the back of the garage area for Donatello's materials, and Klunk's new, state-of-the-art, all-natural cat tree was spread throughout the tunnel. Klunk himself was still curled in the cat bed, unperturbed by his adventures in instant teleportation.

Mikey grinned and high-fived the Elemental. "Wicked," he said, and went back to bed. After all, Raph was sure to try and kill him when he found out what happened (which would likely happen the next time he went into the garage), and he'd need all the energy he could get to keep ahead of his brother.

* * *

**End chapter 4**

* * *

**Next up: **Casey and April refuse to be chased away by weird little mystics. Also, a surface fight. Mikey thought having one sensei was tough enough. He ain't seen nothing yet.


	5. In Which April Destroys the Lair

**Title:** Mikey, the Mystic Master, 5

**Author: **Stormy1x2

**Word Count: **2096

**Notes: **Fanfic100 prompt #**66**: _Rain_

**Summary**: April destroys the lair. Yeah, you heard me. :D

* * *

**Mikey, the Mystic Master, Chapter 5**

* * *

Now, contrary to what the episodes would have you believe, April and Casey did not just bow out of the lives of their best friends and live happily under an oblivion-inducing rock every time a plot developed. Oh no, they did not. April stayed in touch with Donatello via their computer's web cams and plotted the best ways to turn the water elemental into vapor. Casey kept things simple and just called Raph on his shell cell whenever he wanted to go and bust some skulls.

However, the two humans realized that they were letting themselves be kept away from their closest friends, and so eventually, the two of them decided it was time to make the trip to the lair again, and deal with the Mystics head on. They did not go blindly however – April borrowed one of Casey's bats as a means of self-defense, and Casey stocked up on extra golf clubs in case he found himself running short.

The Day of Reckoning was at hand. April and Casey held hands as they stepped into the elevator. It took them to the lower levels of the Pumping Station that had been transformed into the turtles new lair. Their resolve was strong, their heads held high, and when the door opened, April strode forward, determined not to let the perverted little pickle jar scare her off again.

"Ah, the vision of loveliness appears." crooned Water, materializing in front of her. "I thoroughly approve of you joining Master and his compatriots in developing your ninja skills, but might I suggest a darker uniform to help you blend in to your surroundings? I saw a lovely spandex cat suit in your memories, my dear. Or perhaps the delightful garment Master showed me called a 'bikini' would be better."

April felt her ears turning as red as her hair. Calmly, she pulled the bat clear of the harness she'd slung over her shoulder, reared back, and swung hard.

Now, April O'Neil was no shrinking violet. Even before she'd met the turtles and began her ninja training, she had been a strong, young woman, and her father had been an athletically-inclined gentlemen who raised his daughters the way he would have raised sons, if he'd had them. Which meant no namby-pamby swing-and-a-miss for April. Her father would have wept tears of joy over her perfect stance and firm grip, and she solidly connected with the elemental with a force that would have garnered her a home run on any baseball diamond.

On the flip side of this picture, the Mystics, despite holding powers of sheer awesomeness, were not very solid in nature. Coupled with the fact that Mikey had managed to give them one firm order to refrain from using any mystical powers whatsoever (unless told directly to or given prior permission), and Water had no real defense for the bat that came hurtling at what passed for his midsection. As he was quite light, and April's swing was quite strong, this set off a chain reaction that April had not planned on.

Water slammed backwards into Fire who for once, had been behaving himself and playing contentedly with a lighter, flicking it on and off. Water's cold and wet element met with Fire's natural flaming aura and the resultant collision caused an immediate and extremely large explosion of hissing steam and smoke.

This should have been the end of it, and normally, it would have been. However, Donatello, in fear for his life, and the lives of his family members at the hands of the flame-happy pyromaniac now dwelling with them, had feverishly installed a new, state-of-the-art smoke detector and fire alarm system. It was a wonderfully effective system. A little too effective, actually.

The steam and smoke wafting up from the two unconscious elementals triggered the intricately designed sprinkler system. Living in a pumping station, there had been no shortage of pipes and water mains to tap into, and so no inch of the lair went un-watered. Within moments, everyone was up to their ankles in cold, reservoir water.

But even that wasn't the end. Donatello was an industrious little scientist, and had actually built what amounted to a two-pronged attack within the alarm system. Donnie had installed a series of sensor grids in the ceilings that when triggered, zeroed in on the largest and hottest source registering, and unleashed a spray of foam from the catwalk-mounted extinguishers. It would appear though, that Donatello had been unable to finish testing his new system. Obviously, when the extinguishers made a wet sounding 'SPLORT' and dumped its entire payload into the living room, there seemed to be a few bugs left in the system.

A two foot thick layer of slippery foam coated everyone and everything. Leonardo, who had been training in the dojo when it had started to rain, joined April and Casey at the front of the room. Though he was a highly-trained ninja, he stumbled a bit on the foam. But _because _he was a highly-trained ninja, he was able to turn his fall forwards into a controlled flip, landing next to Casey with a flourish.

Casey, despite being a naturally gifted athlete, possessed far less grace and agility than his turtle friends, and when Leo's sudden appearance at his side caused him to start in surprise, he began to make a pratfall of his own. Waving his arms wildly, he lashed out and grabbed hold of the first thing he could feel – which happened to be Leonardo's long-tailed bandanna. Casey Jones was not as heavy as a muscled terrapin with a forty pound shell, but he was far from light, and so another loud crash sounded in the newly trashed lair for the second time in less than a minute.

From the top of the catwalks where he'd been watching the entire spectacle, Air drifted down to settle himself at the side of the still frozen-in-shock figure that was April O'Neil. Surveying the landscape of the lair, taking in the unconscious forms of his siblings and the pained moans of Leonardo and Casey, he nodded once in approval, and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm a big fan of your work," he told her earnestly.

April dropped her face into her hands and groaned.

* * *

It was decided that everyone needed some fresh air.

Actually, it was Splinter who had told them so, and the decision had come in the form of a lethally-wielded walking stick. Donatello had been ordered to stay, as it had been his system that had caused the mess, and April volunteered to help since it had been her grand slam into the Water Elemental that had started the whole thing. As an aside, it should be pointed out that her abuse of the Mystic did not deter it in any way – rather, after Water recovered, he had been in awe of her strength and brutality, and his deliberately provoking teasing suddenly turned into an obsessive crush. After three proclamations of love and Water's vocally declared willingness to father her spawn in under five minutes, Splinter ordered Mikey to order the Mystics to follow him to the surface for an extended training period. When asked when they could return, Splinter had glared at the group and told them he'd think about it and get back to them.

And so it was under these circumstances that they found themselves on the roof of a nearby building, practicing their Kata's. It was a very nice building. Mikey was contemplating throwing himself off of it.

"Master, your form is atrocious," Air scolded. "Move your leg two point five inches to the right, and bend it an additional three degrees."

"One degree," Metal argued. "His legs are shorter than your average human."

It wouldn't be so bad. It would be over in seconds.

"You did not put your entire force into that palm strike," Earth commented.

It'd be painless except for the sudden stop at the end, and even that wouldn't last very long.

"That was a very sloppy split kick, Master," Water snarked. "You are _far_ more flexible then that. You're being lazy."

It was like training with a squadron of Leonardo's. Mikey looked longingly at the roof edge.

"Lift your arm!" snapped Fire. He was still out of sorts over being extinguished earlier.

"That's it." Mikey straightened out of his stance and whirled around, glaring at the Mystics. "Stop back-seat ninja-ing me! I've been doing these for _years_!"

"So it's about time you learned to do them properly," Metal told him.

"Argh!"

Raph was sparring with Casey. They were determined to make a ninja of the human, but it was very slow going. For every one thing Casey did right, he did two more things wrong – little things, like forgoing a follow-up shot for a celebratory dance after successfully doing a proper spinning kick (though Raph didn't have the heart to tell him it had been so telegraphed it was like watching in slow motion). Raph reversed the grip on his sai's and clunked Casey over the head with the handle. "Follow up!"

"Whoops."

And so it continued. Leonardo was doing his own Kata practice, but was suddenly brought out of his zone of concentration by the sound of wind whistling by. He snapped to attention, bringing his swords up. "Incoming!"

Four strange warriors appeared, clad in black, but lacking the distinctive foot emblem design on their uniform. They lined up in front of the turtles. Casey moved to join them and was struck aside. "Hey!"

"Oh no, not these guys," Earth suddenly moaned. "Don't your owners have lives?"

"Of _course _they don't," Water scoffed. "That's why they're here."

Mikey blinked at the warriors and then glanced back at the Mystics. "You know these dudes?"

"They are the pets of a bunch of glorified karate kids," Metal said, glaring at the interlopers. "They're here to judge you. If you fail, no doubt they plan to conk you on the head, knock you out and whisk you away to lord over you the fact that you lost."

"Who says we're gonna lose?" Raph said with a smirk. He brought his sai's into the ready position.

"You _will_ lose," Water told them. "It's kind of impossible to beat them - they're designed that way. And while captive bondage is all well and good, we're kind of attached to having our Master with us. If they take him, we can't follow."

Mikey perked up at this. "Really?"

Earth conjured a small mountain of earth and dropped it on Mikey's head. "That's for trying to abandon us."

"I didn't say that!"

"Mystic powers," Air reminded his Master patiently. "We know far more than you think."

"Mental little voyeuristic drill sergeants," Mikey grumbled, brushing dirt off his plastron. He waved at the warriors. "No need to fight dudes, I'll come in peace!"

"Mikey!" Leo snapped.

The warriors suddenly turned around and vanished. Mikey reached out one hand forlornly. "Take me with you!"

"Why'd they leave?" Raph asked.

"They smelled Casey?" Mikey suggested.

Casey punched him in the arm. "Can it, goofball."

"You are missing one," Metal explained. "They were here to challenge the four of you, but the 'wise' one is not here. They will no doubt return when the four of you are together."

"Unless we stop them," Air added. "How do you feel about living in a sealed dome of energy for the rest of your life?"

Leonardo looked strangely at the floating Elemental. "Um... we'll pass, thanks."

Air looked unconcerned. "It was only a suggestion."

"I vote we get back to the lair and see what Master Splinter has to say about this," Raph said, and drew surprised stares from everyone. "What?"

"A rational, logical plan of action from Raphael," Leo marveled. "Will wonders never cease?"

Raph shot him the finger.

"Last one home's the next Mystic babysitter!" Mikey yelped and made a headlong dash for the fire escape. Casey was hot on his heels, and Raph right behind him. In seconds, Leonardo was the only one left on the roof, surrounded by floating Mystics.

"Hello, babysitter," Fire smirked.

The speed Leonardo attained on his way to the lair not only surpassed Casey and his brothers, but set new land speed records as well. The Mystics exchanged looks and shrugs.

"Was it something I said?" Fire asked innocently, before they all vanished.

* * *

**End**

* * *

**Notes: **only a few more chapters to go. Next up, the Mystics confront the Ancient One. Who is the most annoying?


End file.
